


warmth.

by springlace



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Lowercase, M/M, Mild Language, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 01:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15450645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springlace/pseuds/springlace
Summary: taeil wishes for a little warmth at night. then he meets johnny, who is the human embodiment of warmth.





	warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> some sentences are supposed to not make sense, to end or start abruptly. it's part of the general... mood i suppose?
> 
> this was written very late, as well as very personally to me. before posting this, i did a quick read-through but i hope it's alright! since it's my first time posting here, i'm not sure how to tag things properly... i hope you enjoy!

sometimes, taeil had bad days where he wanted to just sleep and say fuck it all. these also happened to be the days he felt like shit and would cry himself to sleep. there wasn’t really a difference, was there? he just felt terrible and sad.   
his room was always chilly, which in turn made him cold. used to the temperature. though it was during nights like these, where it was as if hell itself had frozen over, that he wished for even a little bit of warmth.   
  
2:32 AM.

that’s what the clock read on his phone, the brightness of the screen reflecting on his face. his eyes hurt, he hated the fact that iphones would adjust the brightness on it’s own. there was a reason why he kept it down, with the low battery mode always on. still awake and not able OR willing to fall asleep just yet. on nights like these he practically craved something physical. sometimes he wanted to cuddle or spoon, sometimes he wanted a hug or to hear someone’s breath in front of him.    
  
however, the thing he always wanted most was someone to just hold his hand while he slept. an embarrassing and constant thought of his at 2 AM in the morning, but a desire he held dearly too nonetheless. on the nights of the sky filled with black, where the only thing he’d hear was the ringing of some machinery. where he’d silently cry to not make noise, to stifle himself. where he was so overtaken with weariness and sorrow, he would find himself reaching out for someone, anyone. grasping only air as his hand rested on the mattress. turning to the other side and huddling his body together. feeling the rising and falling of his shoulders as he breathed, his slow and deep breathes.   
he still felt cold.   
  
those who said he’s a loner, those who said he’s bad with words and those who said he’s boring. they could all be right in a way, is what he thought. even if people don’t say something, it’s easy to predict what they’re thinking once you know them. he could tell all of what others thought of him and he cared, he did. not enough to show it, though (or was it more he couldn’t bare to lose face?) he was able to make others happy, make others laugh, make others feel safe and comfortable.  _ “what about me?”  _ he would think occasionally.  _ “yeah, WHAT about me.” _ was always his response back, shooting himself down.   
  
a sunflower in a sea of green. a rainbow after a rainy day. that’s exactly how he felt on that one fine day of meeting johnny for the first time. his smile radiated happiness while his laugh sent puppies into jealousy. his eyes held warmth while his touch was gentle. a faithful meeting, he thought. an angel, maybe a star, he thought. i think he’ll be different than everyone else. i think i can be myself around him. i think i can find comfort with johnny.   
  
a tornado, a sudden hard downpour when johnny had confessed to him. a rush of unknown feelings never felt before. he wasn’t that empty of a person, he knew, but he wasn’t familiar with whatever this was. whatever caused the burning of his face, the rapid beating in his chest. he struggled to look at johnny and saw something in his eyes he hadn’t seen before, didn’t know. “ah.” he put his arms around johnny, slowly, no matter how much taller the other was. “this is surely love, isn’t it?” he said with a faltering voice. taeil felt arms wrap around him, as he was enclosed with johnny’s warmth. “the fast beating of our (love) hearts. they’re in sync, can you hear them?”   
he could. he could see it, feel it and hear it.   
taeil didn’t know if love had a certain smell, but he’d guess it would be johnny’s scent that always smelled like honey.   
taeil didn’t know if love had a taste, but he’d just have to find out, right?   
johnny’s body was hot pressed against him. taeil was still a little bit cold, but warmer than those solitary nights.   


 

  
months later, after that fateful day, he got to wake up next to the one he loved. truthfully everyday felt like a dream. he was always so, so happy with the other, even before they started dating. it was different when johnny laughed at his jokes, when he smiled because of something taeil did. different, happier.   
  


 

tick tock went the clock on the door, though he checked his phone for the time instead. his eyes didn’t feel like squinting to see the digits.   
01:54 AM.   
  
he was still awake. he looked at the one across from him, their hands in a gentle hold. his breathing was loud yet so calming in the silent room, only illuminated by the moonlight. taeil liked when it shined just right on johnny’s face, he could see him properly. he was beautiful. his hands were big, though that just felt taeil feel protected whenever they held hands like this, whether in bed or daylight. he was sleeping peacefully, as if you could poke him with a stick and he still wouldn’t wake up. looking at johnny, he could believe and hope everything would be okay.   
  
he checked his phone again, curious to see how much time he spent staring at the other.   
02:09 AM.

15 minutes went by since he last checked.   
slowly, he moved to give his love a kiss on the forehead, smiling to himself as he did.   
“happy birthday, johnny.”   
  
it’s not cold anymore. it’s warm with him.


End file.
